


Jalapeño

by Two_Guns_And_A_Knife



Category: Stephanie Plum - Janet Evanovich
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 10,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Two_Guns_And_A_Knife/pseuds/Two_Guns_And_A_Knife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into the RangeMan crew's life from a different perspective. Theme Song: It's My Life by Bon Jovi and Now We Are Free from the Gladiator. Babe HEA, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jalapeño

**Jalapeño**

He stays put and doesn't give in. He can tell by her voice that she's getting impatient and frustrated. He knows she wants to leave. He wishes she can stay. He loves her, but he can't go with her. He feels bad when she crumbles to the carpeted floor by the king size bed and starts crying. He doesn't know what to do. He always hates to see her tears. He's never ever meant to hurt her, but he has to do the right thing. He really, really has no other choices. He has to stay where his heart and loyalty are. And she's not the one he loves the most in this world...

So he remains where he is while she wipes away her tears, and watches her go. Deep down in his heart he knows this is the last time. She won't be back. She can't stand and doesn't want this life. She has had enough. All the worries. All the secrets. All the fights. All the make-up sex. Because sometimes love is just not enough. He hears the sound of the front door being locked. He gets out from under the bed and rushes to the window. The cab driver puts the suitcases into the trunk. She gets in the car and closes the door. She turns to look at their home as the car drives away. He's not sure if she sees him or not. "Don't go!" He finally feels panic and cries out.

But it's too late. She's already gone. Her ruby wedding ring lies quietly on the bedside table. The house is eerily empty though he can still smell her sweet perfume. He sits by the window and starts to wait. He listens to the loud silence and soon falls asleep. The sky is already dark when he wakes up. He's hungry but has no appetite. He waits, and waits. He sees the familiar black car stop at the curb and runs immediately to the front door. He then meows out all his loneliness and sorrow when the door opens and the light goes on. He purrs like a little princess when Papi picks him up and holds him tight. Papi knows Mama has left them, he suddenly realizes.

They eat their late dinner in silence. He sits on the lid of the toilet when Papi takes a long cold shower. And that night he sleeps on Papi's muscular chest, trying all he can to keep Papi warm and heal Papi's soul. He can't help feeling sorry and sad. He loves his Mama with all his heart, but Papi is the one who killed the bad man and saved his life. And he couldn't let Papi come back home from his mission to an empty house. He just couldn't. He closes his eyes and wishes he can cry. The both of them fall asleep when dawn finally comes.

He's Jalapeño Santos, Lester's cat. He weighs 10.5 pounds and has no fear. And his great adventure is just about to begin.


	2. Santos

**Santos**

It was too late. There was nothing he could do for the mother cat and her other babies. So he picked up the tiny kitten—the sole survivor of the whole family—and ordered their bone-thin and numb-looking local interpreter to take them to a vet ASAP. He had no idea if they had vets for small animals here. But it had been a beautiful, modern and prosperous city not that long ago, he'd once been told. The pride and joy of this far away country. A beautiful oasis in the desert. Though it was nothing but a sad pile of bombed debris now, a living proof of the cruelty of war. _There must be something left._ Firmly he told himself and started to pray. He was never a good Catholic. He hadn't prayed or been in the church in years. And right now he was frantically praying to God, to the Buddha, and to Allah. For this fragile little cat. For all the exhausted and sad local people who stared at the world with emotionless empty eyes. Their tears had run dry, he knew that for a fact. And they were not complaining. They had learned to accept whatever Fate dropped onto their heads with submissive resignation. But he, on the other hand, hadn't, and didn't plan to. There was always hope. He refused to give up without putting up a fight. He had always been a stubborn fighter and hopeless optimist ever since he was a child.

But the little kitten didn't make it.

He—or she—died in his arms on the way to a vet clinic. And he cried. Without making a sound. He had never cried so hard in his life. He felt like everything he'd ever believed in had ceased to exist in a blink of an eye. Their cars stopped. Someone opened the door and said something. He paid no attention. He just broke down and cried. He saw the beautiful eyes of the mother cat. He saw the tiny kittens. He saw the big brownish dog. He saw the goats. He saw the boy and the girls. He saw the old couple. And they were all dead. Dead. Dead. Just like the hundreds and hundreds of people and animals he'd seen along the road. Someone took the kitten from his trembling hands. Someone hugged him and patted him on the back. Someone buried the kitten. Someone said a prayer. No one said a word to him. They remain friends after leaving the Army. He was not the first one who fell apart. And he was not even a cat person at that time.

A couple years later, he killed an asshole to save another kitten. On another beautiful summer day. In his own country. Once again the mom cat and her other babies didn't make it. But the tiny, bone-thin kitten survives.

Lester Santos opens his eyes and gently wraps his arms around his snoring cat. He wants to cry. He wants to laugh. He has thought love is the answer for everything. But his wife, the woman he loves with all his life, has chosen to leave him. And even though she loves him truly and deeply, she's not coming back. But at least he has the sole custody of his child, his Jalapeño, his Super Cat...


	3. Sweet Pea

**Sweet Pea  
**

Sweet Pea Jenkins lets out a sigh. It was yet another lazy summer day, and she is still hopelessly and helplessly in love. Life can be such a cruel joke at times. She fell for the love of her life the moment she saw him at the waiting area of the vet clinic. She was a 5-month-old great Dane pup. He was a severely wounded tiny cat. The differences between them are too vast and too difficult to deny or overcome. She has known all along there will be no future between them. But, thankfully, their Dads are co-workers and very good friends. Now she and Jalapeño have also become the best of pals. And they get to have sleepovers at each other's house from time to time. Sweet Pea yawns and wiggles her tail as her Dad walks by with his cell phone to his ear, but he doesn't stop to pat her head. He's talking with Jalapeño's Papi in rapid Spanish. And he sounds concerned and a bit frustrated. Sweet Pea wonders what's going on. She hopes nothing bad happened. She likes Jalapeño's Mommy very much. Mama Santos is very kind and always smells so nice. She has the most beautiful smile in the world and makes the best homemade doggie treats ever. And she never ever waves her arms or yells when Sweet Pea and Jalapeño break things while playing chase and hide-and-seek. But from time to time she would wrap her arms around Sweet Pea(Jalapeño doesn't like to be hugged) and quietly cry when both Dad and Papi Santos were out of town for a job.

Sweet Pea knew how Mama Santos must have felt. Because she, too, sometimes feels the same.

She doesn't like to be left alone. She doesn't like to feel worried. She hates being scared. She hates feeling fear. She gets antsy when waiting. She gets jumpy and anxious when Dad is late. She tries to be strong. She tries to be brave. But most of the time she simply fails. She can't eat. She can't sleep. And she flat-out hates it when Dad comes home bruised, limping and bandaged **.** She wants him to be safe. She needs him to be safe. She doesn't want him to keep on challenging fate and death. She loves him too much to lose him. She doesn't want him to come home in a casket. And he won't even get a nice beautiful flag and a free burial site, jeez.

But Sweet Pea has no choice but to respect Dad's wish. "Someone has to do the job." He tells her from time to time when he's cleaning his guns and knives. This is his chosen path. This is what he's good at. This is his way to make a living. He's a highly trained professional. He's very experienced and smart. He comes back to her every time. He always does. And it's not like she can talk him out of it. Sweat Pea rolls her eyes and thinks of snorting, but soon decides against it because that's not very ladylike. She stand up and walks over to lick Dad's unwounded hand when he ends the phone conversation and leans against the kitchen counter in resignation.

"Damn." Howell "Zero" Jenkins says as he places his bandaged hand over eyes. "Damn." His best friend's wife has left their home with all her belongs except her wedding ring. He knows how devastating a blow it is to his friend, but there's nothing he can do to help save their marriage. Not any more. How can Esmé walk away like this? What more does she want from Lester? Why does she always have to change him? Why can't she just accept him and love him as he is? Does she not know how much Lester loves her? Does she not know how Lester longs to start a family with her? What is she thinking? What is so wrong with her? Why can't love be enough for her? Why?

Zero exhales a sigh as he thinks of his own failed marriage. He sits down on the floor, holds Sweet Pea in his arms and kisses her on top of her head. "At least I still have you, baby. At least I still have you."


	4. Daredevil

**Daredevil**

He enters the door and smiles nervously as he takes a small step forward. His smile falters as the two pairs of beautiful, calculating and suspecting eyes size him up. This is really not a big deal. He knows he shouldn't be scared. He is an animal lover who grew up on a small farm in a Midwest state. All the cats and dogs and hamsters and guinea pigs in the neighborhood loved him. Both Grandpa and Aunt Maisie were hardworking small-scale organic farmers, and nearly all the cafés and diners in the nearby towns bought pies and homemade breads from Grandma and Uncle Henry. He had always been a big kid and was never the brightest student in his class. And he, as well as everybody else, also knew that he wasn't smart enough for college and would never become the best linebacker in NFL history. So he cried his heart out the day Shadow, his big black mutt, died of old age and decided to join the Marines after high school. He was 17 that year. And now he's 29, has a steady and well-paid job, live a somewhat regular life, and is happily engaged to his high school sweetheart, a brilliant and soft-spoken woman he loves with all his heart.

He takes a deep breath to collect himself. He hasn't been this nervous in years. He was born an optimist but he's not naive. He knows a lot of people think he's stupid just because he's big, tall, and mild and has a redneck accent. The 8 years he served in the Marines and the 3 years of working experience at RangeMan have not only taught him to take advantage of people's prejudice, but also taught him that life is full of twists and turns and surprises and accidents. Anything can happen. The sky may still fall upon your head even if you are ready and prepared. Just take a look at Miss Plum's everyday life. And now he can't help feeling he's doomed. How he wishes Mei Ling is here. Everybody—kids, pets, moms and grandmas—loves Mei Ling. She was born with a kind heart and natural charm. She has always been the light of his life and the source of his strength. She will know how to babysit Jalapeño and Sweet Pea, a pair of famed troublemakers, without getting into trouble for 72 hours.

Hal Carpenter blows out a sigh. He has just bought a house at a decent price. his petite fiancée is moving in with him next week. They're going to get married in 3 months. Hopefully they will be welcoming their first baby in 2 years. Santos and Zero will definitely kill him or send him to a third world country if something goes wrong and he screws up. And Hal doesn't even want to think what Ranger will do to the three of them when he finds out about the two little—well, a 120-pound Great Dane is not exactly little, as a matter of fact—stowaways inside the RangeMan building...


	5. Sweet Giant

**Sweet Giant**

One by one the muscular men clad in black sneak inside to take a peek or say Hi. Some of them just want to have a quiet warm hug. Some of them come bearing gifts(turkey, tuna, sliced hard-boiled eggs, whole wheat tomato and cheese sandwiches, unsweetened yogurt, carrot sticks, lettuce, etc.). And some of the braver ones get lucky and walk away with only a scratch or two after rubbing the not-yet-asleep cat's belly. And just when the two famed trouble makers wake up from their nap and are about to get bored, Tank, the ebony mountain of a man they both love, finally arrives.

It's hard not to like Tank. He's big and strong and quiet and fun. He knows how to tickle a dog and rub a cat. He always has super delicious and healthy treats in one of his many pockets. He always smells of cats: mom cats, baby cats, homeless cats, all kinds of cats. And there's something about him that made both Jalapeño and Sweet Pea feel safe and relaxed around him they very first time they met. They have known Tank forever. He was there the day Dad took Sweat Pea home from the shelter. He was there the day Papi took Jalapeño home from the vet clinic. They know they can trust him. He will never hurt them. He will always protect them. And Papi is right, Jalapeño smirks, Tank does have the sweetest smile in the world when he's watching Animal Planet.

Together the three of them sit on the couch and watch TV. Soon they all fall asleep. Silently the door opens. Silently a tall dark handsome man comes in. His dark brown eyes fall on the three of them and his brow raises a tiny fraction of an inch. Sweat Pea's ear twitches in her sleep. Jalapeño snores on peacefully. Tank's eyes snap open and his face pales immediately. "It wasn't my fault." Without thinking Tank murmurs under his breath.

And Ranger almost smiles. Almost.


	6. Home

**Home**

Vince Cooper is a handsome man. On their wedding night his wife Lorie admitted that she fell for his bright eyes and killer smile the first time they met. He put an end to his career as a Navy SEAL and started working for RangeMan after his third child and only daughter was born. "Your country needs you. But your children need their father more." Lorie had said the night he flew back from Germany and rushed to the hospital. There was no tear in her eyes. There was no anger or sadness in her voice. But her fear and exhaustion were too obvious. It was sheer luck that she didn't lose their then-unborn daughter in the car accident. "And I need you, too." Her misty green eyes held him prisoner. Her hand felt small and cold in his. The bruise on her face shook his heart and left a deep crack in his soul. He didn't have the heart to tell her that twice he had almost been killed just the previous week. He didn't have the courage to tell her that someone had to step up and do the right thing. Too many of his friends and acquaintances had sacrificed their lives and left their loved ones behind. Aging parents lost their brave strong sons. Devastated wives passed out in a dead faint or froze on the spot upon receiving the heartbreaking news. Children of all ages never got to hug their fathers again. Cats and dogs kept waiting for the humans who would not be able to return.

Vince raised his wife's hand to his lips. The two of them didn't say anything the rest of the night. He was now facing a tough decision. The toughest in his life, as a matter of fact. They both knew she would stay by his side no matter which path he chose. They both knew how much he wanted to keep his country safe from the treacherous enemies. They both knew how much he wished he could be with his family every day, every hour and see his children grow up. The next morning Vince unlocked the door, stepped into his home and immediately got knocked down on the floor by his sons and dogs. "Daddy!" The twins wrapped their arms tightly around him. Fluffy and Buster wiggled their tails and licked his face happily. He struggled to sit up. His mother-in-law dapped at her eyes with the corner of her apron. Somewhere in the house Shadow the cat meowed. The heavenly scent of chocolate chips and blueberry pancakes danced in the air. There were more than one way to serve your country, he told himself as he gathered his sons in his arms and made his decision.

And though sometimes he still feels the longings deep down within, he's happy and contented now. Vince Cooper grins as the huge Great Dane yelps and jumps happily around a laughing Zero. He watches Santos—the legendary hot-blooded, fun-loving badass—kiss the cute purring cat. Yes, it feels good to be home. And Yes, he can't wait to tell his 2 pals Ranger has already found out about their perfect little plan.


	7. Notorious

******Notorious** ** **

Jalapeño falls asleep waiting. His water bowl is still nearly full but his food plate is half empty. Outside the dark silent house the November rain keeps falling and makes everything look grey and cold and empty. The divorce papers Lester received earlier today lie on the dining table. Esmé wants nothing from him. She comes from a respectable rich family, and the thing she needs and wants the most is what Lester can't give her. He can't change who and what he is. He can't have his memories altered or erased. He has too many scars and gaping wounds. He has caused harms and done terrible things, and no shrinks in the world can do anything about his guilt. Esmé has wanted to know everything that has been tormenting him, but he just couldn't bring himself to bare his soul to her. He was too afraid. He didn't want to scare her away. He thought everything was going to be okay if he kept saying "I love you" and wrapped her in his muscular arms long enough. But, alas, like most women in this world, his beautiful wife needed more than that.

She didn't feel safe when time after time he jerked awake in the middle of the night because of the same nightmare. She grew frustrated when time after time he refused to open up to her. And then one day she decided she'd had enough. She wants a normal life. She wants a husband who can truly laugh, joke, and enjoy his life. She wants a husband who has no shadows in his dark brown eyes. She needs a husband who can fully let go of his dark disturbing past and move on without looking back. She wants to move back to the sunny West Coast city where she was born. She wants him to cut all his ties and start anew. She wants him to meet new people, make new friends, and find a new job. She likes his friends but she wants to be close to her family and friends. He can work for her father if he wants. They can start their own family. They will be happy. They have been through so much together. They deserve to be happy. He deserves to be happy. She deserves to be happy.

But Lester doesn't want to part ways with his friends. He loves his job. He knows who and what he is. He doesn't want to forget and then pretend. He wants to remember and then heal. It will most probably take a very long time. But that's the only way. He has to put himself back together. He has to grow out of it on his own. All he asks of the woman he loves is a little more patience. All he wants is a second chance. He never likes her brothers and their snobby wives. He can't say he like her mother. Her father is a good man but what he does for a living is boring. And he doesn't want to tear Jalapeño and Sweet Pea apart. He needs and wants to stay true to himself.

He and Esmé are too much alike. They are both stubborn, headstrong, passionate, and hot-tempered. And that fatal day they both lost their temper and chose the wrong things to say. A lot of hurtful words. A lot of untrue accusations. Then their disagreement evolved: A heated argument. An ugly fight/yelling match. A destructive conflict. A separation. And now a divorce...

Jalapeño wakes up and yawns the moment the sleek German black car stops at the curb. He's already waiting at the door when a tall dark familiar man half carries Lester inside. Jalapeño stays at the bedroom door watching curiously and worriedly as Ranger puts a murmuring Lester in bed. The strong smell of tequila fills the air. He meows and rubs against Ranger's legs as the silent man checks on his water bowl and fills his food plate. He jumps onto Ranger's lap and starts purring as a large warm Mocha Latte hand gently scratches him under the chin. He always likes Ranger: he's so quiet and so calm and somehow reminds Jalapeño of sunlight, of the moon, of the wind, of the sea and far away places. Ranger was there the day Jalapeño almost died. He is the one who took the gun out of Lester's hand and told him to get the dying kitten to the vet ASAP. He is the one who stayed behind to get rid of the gun, clean up the scene, and bury the dead mom cat and her babies. He is the one who found the perfect house for Tank and all his cats. He's the one who knows all the right spots to make a cat purr and he also has those most wonderful, magical hands.

Jalapeño curls into a ball and falls asleep. In his dream he sees his mother and siblings. In his dream Mama and Papi are still laughing so happily. In his dream Sweet Pea's Mommy didn't move to Atlanta, merry someone else and have babies. In his dream the world is perfect and no cats and dogs have to die just because they can't find a home. He dreams on. His tail and paws twitch slightly. He starts snoring. He feels safe and protected. And the large warm Mocha Latte hand never leaves him.


	8. Merry Christmas, Mister Rodriguez

**Merry Christmas, Mister Rodriguez**

Henry Emanuel Rodriguez doesn't have a sense of humour. He doesn't need a sense of humour. He lost 3 friends and his right leg in a friendly fire. There's no such thing as a "friendly" fire as far as Mr. Rodriguez is concerned. A bunch of brainless over-excited and overreacting idiots screwed up big time and got innocent people killed. When they fired their weapons, they were aiming to kill. And up to this day the dead soldiers' families still believe their beloved sons/husbands/brothers gave their lives to keep their country safe. Mr. Rodriguez doesn't like to talk about it. The dead is already dead. He now has a bitter heart, a lot of bad memories, and a prosthetic leg just like the Blade Runner. His leg still hurts on cold rainy days. The old Chinese doctor in Manhattan Chinatown has told him the only way to get rid of the pain once and for all is to move to somewhere warm and dry. But Mr. Rodriguez doesn't want to leave Trenton. He likes his job at RangeMan. He has made new friends here and Ranger is a very good boss. And Ella is like the mother he never had.

Mr. Rodriguez yawns and stretches. He's good at his work. He's polite, efficient, focused, and reliable. He doesn't mind working long hours. His office chair is custom made. His desk is always tidy and organized, just like his apartment on the 4th floor. He shuts down his computer and turns off the light. Tonight his leg is sore, and he feels extremely lonely and low. He misses his 3 friends. He misses his Grandma. He lost her to cancer exactly a year ago. He blows out a sigh and tells himself to get a grip. He's a grown up. He doesn't do sentimental stuff. He accepts life as it is and moves on. He has always been a smart and practical man. He will make Grandma proud. He will eat his dinner, watch a little TV, take a shower, and go to bed. He will get up and finish the newest Jack Reacher book if he can not sleep. He steps out of the elevator and immediately gets knocked down by a dog the size of a horse. Mr. Rodriguez blinks a couple times as the dog whimpers and licks his face almost apologetically. He recognizes this dog. Sweet Pea Jenkin. Zero's baby. He knows he should get up and dust himself, but somehow he stays lying there and wraps his arms around Sweet Pea instead. He closes his eyes and feels the warmth. He always wanted to have a dog when he was little. But they couldn't afford a pet. He opens his eyes a moment later when he feels a sudden weight landing on his chest and sees a cat's curious face. Ah, Jalapeño Santos. Henry Emanuel Rodriguez smiles and finally starts laughing. He hugs the dog with one arm and scratches the cat's chin with the other.

"I'll take over from here." He tells a worried-looking Ram, the designated babysitter. Hal is away on honeymoon. "They can stay with me tonight."

And that night, he sleeps well.


	9. Tooth Fairy

**Tooth Fairy**

Ramón González doesn't dislike cats or dogs. He just has no time for a pet. Or a steady girlfriend. Or a fiancée. Or a wife. Or kids. Or a bunch of loud nosy crazy in-laws. He's a friendly nice-looking hard-working guy. He's lean, slender and a couple inches short of 6 feet, and he doesn't mind cooking or doing the laundry. He's just not a family man. His aunts and elder sisters refuse to give up on him. They keep helping him looking for the right girl and setting him up with blind dates. But the angry Latino gang tattoo on his left upper arm speaks louder than words. Yes, he has made some mistakes when he was young and ignorant. But it's all in the past now. He has changed. He has realized the wrong of his ways. His good friend was killed in a gang fight. His cousin died in Afghanistan the same year. His friend's mother and pregnant wife cried their hearts out in his arms. His uncle and aunt sat in their quiet empty house staring into nothing with their son's photo in their trembling hands. He had no idea what to say. He couldn't even tell them how sorry he was. He was too sad and too numb. He couldn't sleep at night. He cried a little in his dreams. He decided to make some huge necessary changes one day when he heard a relatively new but successful security company was hiring. He doesn't have any military background. But he got the job. He knows how to fight. He knows how to survive. He has friends around. He's smart. He's practical. He's tough. And he's ready to learn and willing to work his butt off. He's just not relationship material, he's sure of that.

But right now as the pretty woman looks up from her magazine to smile at him AGAIN, he suddenly isn't so sure. Beside him, Zero's horse of a dog whines again. She sounds so pitiful. She sounds so scared. Ramón rolls his eyes. Oh, yeah, it's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone. A bald/shaved spot. Five stitches. Various shots and pills. And Daddy won't be home till tomorrow.

"Poor baby." Ramón finally gives in and gives Sweet Pea a kiss and a hug. He actually quite likes this sweet playful dog.

"Awwwwww." The pretty woman puts the magazine away. Her black cute ugly pug looks at Ramón and Sweet Pea with solemn sorrowful eyes. He, too, is wearing the cone of shame.

6 Weeks later, Ramón González and Cathy Chandler are happily engaged.


	10. Babe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The Lunar New Year is coming this weekend. I'll be away from Feb 9th to 12th. Take care. Have fun. Stay safe.

 

**Babe**

Soft. Warm. Funny and strange scents. And wet. Jalapeño tilts his head slightly as he feels intrigued. It definitely calls for further investigation, he soon decides. He slowly creeps forward. He's always been a curious cat and he has already explored the whole apartment. And there's something about this stranger that smells and feels vaguely familiar. He lowers his head to sniff again and suddenly thinks of the pair of large firm gentle Mocha Latte hands. Who's this stranger? Jalapeño takes another small careful step and wonders. Why does she have Ranger's scent on her? Where did she come from? Why is she here? What is she doing on Ranger's couch? Why does she also smell like thyme, olive oil, tomato sauce, and another dog?

Jalapeño stops in the middle of the woman's back and ponders. He's still a little upset that they separated him and Sweet Pea. He's certain he can make her feel better if he kisses her on her nose and licks her wound. He knows he's magic: he's Papi's Super Cat. And he always feels extra brave and brilliant when Sweet Pea looks at him with those trusting, adoring eyes. The woman lets out a small moan and makes a feeble attempt to turn over. Jalapeño stands his ground and refuses to relent. Hey, he's here first. And he has already claimed the perfect spot on the big comfy bed.

Yes, of course he knows there's something quite...interesting inside the glass box on the kitchen counter. Maybe he will spend a few minutes doing some studying on the fat little creature after he finishes with the task at hand. He has to thoroughly investigate and evaluate the strange woman first. And unlike Papi, Tank, and Ranger, she's so soft and warm. She reminds him a little of Mama, in fact, and it makes him sad. Papi no longer comes home drunk, but he can tell Papi still misses Mama a lot. If only he came out from under the bed sooner that day and begged her not to leave...He sits down on the woman's back and closes his eyes. He orders himself to stop feeling sad. He hates feeling sad. He really, really likes Ranger, but how he wishes Papi can come and take him home right now. He wonders how Sweet Pea's feeling. They both hate going to the vet. They both don't like—alright, maybe a little scared, too— the sharp needles. He curls into a ball and falls asleep. He snores softly and doesn't wake up when the door silently opens and the tall Mocha Latte man comes in. His ear flicks a little when Ranger lets out an almost inaudible sigh. He has never ever seen a hamster with his own eyes and he probably won't want to know how it tastes like.

And when Ranger gently brushes Stephanie's hair away from her face, Jalapeño Santos smiles in his dream and starts to purr.

 


	11. Kitteh

**Kitteh**

Stephanie Plum wakes up slowly. The room is dark and the bed is extremely comfy. She feels much better now, though her head is still aching a bit. She lost another car. She got thrown into a pile of garbage bags(Luckily they didn't break apart). Her skip got away. She and Joe had another fight over lunch. She got soaked in the pouring rain. And she didn't get to finish her meatball sub. Life sucks, she decides. Joe is getting more and more demanding. Her mother is getting more and more annoying . Grandma is crazy. Mary Lou is busy. Her father, as usual, offers little help. And she's getting tired of the pity and sympathy in Connie's and Lula's eyes. Yep, she knows she's a miserable mess. She's stranded at the crossroad, and she doesn't know which way to go. She came here because she was feeling afraid. Afraid of the cold darkness. Afraid of the unrelenting loneliness. Afraid of her dim future. If only she knows what Ranger wants. If only she knows what she wants.  _If only we can have peace on Earth._ Stephanie rolls her eyes and gets out of bed.

She's not wearing her soaked clothes, she realizes. Batman and his magic hands. No marriage. No babies. No stupid things. No relationship. She'll always love Ranger's bed. She'll probably always love Ranger, too. She has no idea if she will ever have a permanent place in his life, but at least she can still have great meals and hot shower here. And maybe she can wear his t-shirt home when she has to leave. She wants to sigh but yawns instead. She takes a few steps toward the bathroom and suddenly stops. She frowns in slight confusion as her brain tries to tell her something. The familiar sound. The familiar warmth. The familiar feeling...They lost their family cat years ago, and she still misses the cat especially on rainy days. She was the cat's favorite. They always shared her bed on cold winter nights. And she bought Rex because she knew she wouldn't be able to have another cat...The familiar feeling of a sleeping cat pressing against her back!

Stephanie whips around, turns on the bedside lamp, and gapes at the sleeping cat in Ranger's bed.  _Ranger has a cat? When? Where? How? Why? A cat?_ She thinks dizzily. The man who lives a complicated yet simple life. The man who doesn't waste unnecessary energy. The man who wants no burden, loves freedom, and doesn't want to have something, anything, to hold him back. He's not exactly family material but now he has a cat. And he didn't tell her he has a cat. She almost laughs. It's not like he needs her approval to do stuff. It's not like he has the obligation to inform her of every little change in his life. They are friends and occasional lovers. And she's technically with someone else. Stephanie lets out a ragged breath. And as if on cue the cat wakes up, stretches, yawns, and looks her in the eyes. She likes the cat's curious little face. She likes the cat's bright goldish green eyes. She likes the cat's lazy purrs. She always likes cats. But she can't even take good care of Rex. She can't even take good care of herself. She has no car of her own and her apartment is worse than a death trap. She has kind of given up on herself. She has sort of lost her motivation in life. When did that happen? The day she went home early and found Dickie and Joyce together? The day she was told she had been laid off? Or the day she realized that even if she tried the best she could, she still couldn't find a decent job? She doesn't know. She doesn't want to know. She simply doesn't care.

Not anymore.


	12. Faithful

**Faithful**

The cat jumps off the bed and slowly walks to the door. He looks up at Stephanie, twists his tail, but doesn't meow. Stephanie pats him gently on the head and lets him out. She decides to take a shower. She still has clothes in the closet here. The bathroom is clean and spacious, and the water is always hot. She will close her eyes and tilt her head up, letting the water wash away her problems and fatigue, pretending everything is peachy and fine. Maybe she can even think something straight, or figure something out. If she's lucky.

 _Yeah, right._  Stephanie rolls her eyes, gets undressed, and turn the water on. She has a couple new bruises from today's adventure. Her throat is still raw from the yelling match with Joe. And yep, she does feel sorry for herself. If only her crazy skip could be more cooperative. If only Joe could be a little more considerate. If only the Clock could stop ticking in her mind. If only she knows what Ranger really wants. Stephanie lets out a sigh. So Ranger has a cat. A cute boy cat. There are a lot of things she doesn't know about Ranger. Maybe he has another woman in his life. A pretty, sexy, smart, discreet woman who may, or may not, lead a complicated life. Stephanie smiles to herself. Well, he's a healthy, desirable man. He always knows what he wants. She never expected him to be a cat person, though. He's a busy man. He doesn't like trouble. And unlike hamsters, cats can be demanding of your time and attention—

"Oh my God! Rex!" Stephanie wraps a towel around herself and barges out of the bathroom. She nearly trips in her haste.

Jalapeño meows in protest. He's this close to that strange little creature inside the glass box. He just wants to swipe a playful paw at the creature and see how it reacts. It's not his fault that he's born curious. He has the right to explore his world. But the pair of big gently hands won't let go. Luckily he also knows how to adapt to changes. He soon gives up resistance and starts thinking about purring. There's something about Ranger that he really likes. The strength. The scent. The warmth. And the fact that Ranger is Papi's friend. Jalapeño casts a lingering glance at the fat little thing as Ranger carries him out of the clean spacious kitchen, and widens his eyes as the woman stumbles out of the bedroom door with water dripping from her hair to the floor.

Something changes in the air. Ranger almost smiles. Jalapeño starts to purr as the tall dark gentle man scratches him under the chin.

"Jalapeño Santos," Ranger quietly says. His voice soft and smooth. His eyes clear and dark."meet Stephanie Plum."


	13. Papi

**Papi**

Lester Santos parks the car and kills the engine. He was away for an out-of-state job for almost 2 weeks. He's still trying to put his life back together. He's still trying to bury himself with work. He's still in love with the woman who has left him. Maybe he should just sell the house and walk away from all the sweet and bitter memories. He'd never thought one day he would get married. He'd always believed he would live fast, party hard, and then die young. But he realized he no longer wanted to find comfort and pleasure in countless different women's arms the moment he met Esmé.

Esmé. He whispers her name and once again finds himself longing for her soft supple body and warm delicate skin. There were things he was too afraid and ashamed to tell her. There were things he desperately wanted to hide from her forever. He lied to her about how he'd found and saved Jalapeño. He deleted a lots of facts and details as he recalled the quietness of the deserted street and the savage thrill he'd felt when kicking the dead man's head. He didn't want Esmé to see the deepest shade of his darkness and she hated him for not letting her in on his secrets.

It was all his fault.

He steps out of the elevator on the 5th floor and comes face to face with Stephanie Plum. He immediately spots the cat hairs on her black t-shirt. What kind of woman will keep a rat as a pet? He wonders. And how soon will she go back to Morelli this time? All the meaningless fights and pointless arguments. All the yelling, shouting, curing, and arm waving. Don't you hate it when people keep making stupid mistakes? At least Esmé was smart enough to put an end to it. At least Esmé was brave enough to walk away. He knows that deep down within he still dreams for a second chance, but he simply has no confidence how things will end. One day he's going to lose Jalapeño. Nothing ever lasts.

"Yo." He covers up his feelings and puts a grin on his face.

"Yo." Stephanie smiles back. Lester Santos is a cat person? She still has trouble believing that even if the living proof just took a nap on her lap this morning.

Life is complicated.


	14. Dog Day Afternoon

**Dog Day Afternoon**

Stephanie volunteers to walk the dog. She feels thrilled and privileged that she has now been let in on a well-kept secret. She doesn't know Zero quite well. She never imagined he has a dog the size of a horse. Truth is, she is often intimidated by the Merry Men. They are well-trained professionals. She's at best a lucky amateur. They have come to her rescue and helped her out of tight spots countless times; she knows their first names and nicknames. But they are not exactly friends. She doesn't even know Hal's last name. She tries hard to disguise her incompetence and awkwardness. She tries hard to act normal. Even though Ranger once told her they all like her, she can't help feeling uncertain around them. Like a burden, a liability. The cause of hazard pay. Ranger's woman.

Well, maybe not exactly Ranger's woman.

Stephanie parks the RangeMan SUV and lets Sweet Pea out. The vet has yet to take out the stitches. The great Dane is still wearing the cone of shame. Jalapeño has gone home with his Papi. Today, Stephanie decides, they will take a little walk in the park, sniffing at flowers, watching birds and squirrels. And then they will head home and enjoy the rest of the sunny Sunday inside the 4th-floor apartment in front of the TV. Stephanie still finds it hard to believe that the Merry Men actually have a life outside of the RangeMan office. And how long can she stay with Ranger? How long can she share a bed with him before  _anything_  happens? Tonight, there won't be a snoring cat between them...

"Cupcake?"

Stephanie looks up and sees Joe Morelli's frown. Damn. She totally forgot he always brings Bob here on the last Sunday of the month. They are currently off. They had another fight. She hasn't returned his calls. Bob barks and keeps on panting. Sweet Pea looks a bit worried at the orange drooling machine. Stephanie pats her on the great Dane's neck but remains silent. She doesn't want to send the wrong message. Or maybe she already did.

"Where did you get that horse?"

Bob abruptly jumps at Sweet Pea. The larger dog stands her ground and fiercely growls. Stephanie stares at Morelli's faded jeans and worn sneakers. Suddenly she resents everything he stands for. She doesn't like his smile. She doesn't like his tone. She doesn't like the 5 o'clock shadow on his jaw. She doesn't like his joke. Stability. Normalcy. Growing up. Settling down. The usual path. The popular road. The only choice. She thinks of the everyday life of Val and Albert, of Mary Lou, and of her parents. Bob's whining grows louder. She thinks of Tank's smile as Jalapeño snuggled into Lester's arms and meowed like a little princess. She thinks of Ranger's voice when he got out of the bed and told her to go back to sleep at the break of dawn. She looks straight into Joe's warm chocolate eyes and realizing what he's thinking. She wonders why it was so hard to let go.

"Joe," Stephanie's hand stays on Sweet Pea and she feels the great Dane's strength and warmth. Everything becomes clearer and simpler, on the last Sunday of the summer. She's going to buy herself an ice cream on the way home. "It's time to give the Dog Whisperer a call."

Sweet Pea bares her fangs at the rude beast before trotting away triumphantly. Joe Morelli stands where he is for a long time without saying a word. The laughter and noises of the park swallow the deafening silence. Bob keeps pulling at the leash.

Too bad ice cream is bad for dogs.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Autumn**

Esmé Rodríguez adopted the cat.

She changed back to her maiden name 2 days after the divorce was finalized. She doesn't know if she's capable to fall in love with someone else. It feels like her heart is torn, shattered, and lost on a long-distance bus that goes to nowhere. All her sisters-in-law think she did the right thing. All her female relatives can't wait to introduce new love interests and play matchmaker. The bright Californian sun only makes her more agitated. And her father's disappointment is too obvious. That's why she decided to drive to the shelter and find a cat. She misses Jalapeño. She misses Santos. She doesn't know why, but she always called him Santos. She may never stop loving him. But sometimes he felt like a complete stranger. And that hurt.

She hated all his scars and secrets. She hated the blankness of his face. She hates all his nightmares. She hates the fact that his friends know him better than she does and that the two of them will never have the same connection. She was his wife. She was the love of his life. She was supposed to be his everything. She was supposed to be his whole world, his whole universe. She was supposed to be his strength. But the moment he shut down for the 1000th time and didn't say another word, she suddenly realized she couldn't live like this. Not any more. He just looked at her with those burning eyes when she said she wanted a divorce. He gave up without a fight. And just like that, he broke her heart without even knowing it. So now, once again, she's Esmé Rodríguez. Single woman. Cat owner. Still hopelessly in love with the stupidest man that ever walked the Earth. And she has every right to feel sorry for herself.

She looks into the black cat's eyes and with sad eloquent eyes the cat stares back at her. The poor baby was dumped at the shelter because it took his previous owner 11 years to realize they are "allergic" to cats. She reaches out a hand and gently scratches the cat under his chin. "I will never fail you." She whispers. It's time to move out of her parents' place. Tomorrow she will start finding a new home for the both of them. She always knows she will be a good mother. She decides to name the cat Ranger.

_Stupid Santos._


	16. April's Fool

**April's Fool**

Maybe he was being lonely. Maybe he was being foolish. What was done is done. No point regretting it now. He's a grown man. He has needs. He's no longer married now. It'd been a tough week and it was a one night thing. They understood each other perfectly. There was and will be no string attached. Etc. Etc. Etc. Blah. Blah. Blah. But still he can't get rid of this self-disgust. The first thing he wants to do after getting home is to take a long thorough shower. The sudden lust is now quenched. His obstinate heart is longing for someone else. Someone who is no long a part of his life. Someone who he truly really deeply loves. Lester Santos unlocks the door and picks up his meowing cat.

It's hard not to feel guilty. Leaving your baby at home. Sleeping with a woman you know from work. Jalapeño is afraid of loneliness. Jeanne Ellen Burrows probably still has feelings for Ranger. The problem with this world is no one knows a damn thing for sure and we are all chasing after the impossible. Lester holds his cat tightly to his heart and winces as he smells the lingering scent of Jeanne Ellen's perfume. Expensive. Exquisite. Elusive. Allusive. Sweet, but not overly powerful. Fire. Passion. Perfect body. Imported from France.

Jalapeño sneezes in his face.

"Gesundheit." Lester says automatically, and promptly adds when he sees the look on Jalapeño's cure handsome face. "Yeah, I know, I know."

Careless mistake. It won't happen again.


	17. Holiday

**Holiday**

Now that he's no longer married, he suddenly remembers all the important dates and all the little things. Like the day they first met. And the day he asked her out for a drink. Her mother's birthday. And the look in her eyes when she was going to tell him something. He pours himself another drink and leans back against the couch, trying to concentrate on the TV.  _ **Meet the Sloths**_. Sweet Pea loves those slow-moving furry creatures, and he loves Sweet Pea. She's like the child he wanted but never had. And sometimes he wonders if he should get remarried.

Does he still love his ex-wife? From time to time he thinks of that question. Maybe. But the answer is now irrelevant. They have both moved on. There's no point looking back. But he does have regrets. He has said things he shouldn't have said and nothing in the world can mend that mistake. He did apologize. But it was too late. So now here he is. Spending the holidays with his pet. And that is okay. His parents have plenty of grandchildren. His siblings have troubles of their own. He keeps his house tidy. He cooks his own meals—well, sometimes, when possible. And he's just not that into holiday season. He knows how to handle loneliness. Soon it will be another year.

And he likes this feeling of freedom.


	18. Playdates

**Playdates**

Bobby Brown opens the apartment door with a grin on his face. It's been a while and he misses his friends. But he loves Miami. He loves the sun. He loves the breeze. He loves his new apartment, and the food, and all those Cuban cafés. And most important of all, he loves his new girlfriends. Every single one of them. Yeah, he's a romantic man. He's not into long term relationship. So what? He loves his life and he knows he probably won't be a good daddy. He never had the chance to learn from one and his mom wasn't mother of the year, either. He also knows how much Ranger suffered when Julie was kidnapped. So thank, but no, thanks. Mr. Brown does not wish to go through that kind of fear and pain. He will live happily, grow old, and then one day die in a nursing home. C'est la vie. He ain't complaining.

Bobby Brown's grin falters as he frowns in confusion. Nope. It's not national Take Your Pet to Work Day, but somehow the spare apartment has become a pet day care center. What the heck has happened to Ranger? What the heck has happened to Rangeman rules and regulations? So we are allowed to bring our pets to work now? Jeez. Jalapeño has grown into a big kitty. Sweet Pea has grown into a horse. And who's that little guy back there? That little black dog. Solemn eyes. Twisted tail. Cute. Ugly. Quiet. Curious.

"Dude, what happened to your nose?" Brown smiles as he pats the pug. He'll stay here for at least a couple weeks. They will have time to know more about each other.

The door opens and Tanks walks in. Like a shark Tank smiles and puts something tiny, soft and warm in Brown's hands. "Happy birthday. You're welcome."

Bobby Brown looks down and stares at the two kittens in his arms. You can always trust a man with medical training; they are trained to operate under stress and difficult conditions. They know how to handle emergency. Besides, everyone knows that Bobby Brown is a sweet good man.

It's kitten season.

 


	19. Sleepless

**Sleepless**

She locks the door behind her. The water bowl is nearly full. The food plate is half empty. Her cat is nowhere to be seen. She can still feel the kiss on her lips. She starts feeling guilty. She's divorced. She's single. She's young. She's attractive. She's lonely. She loves her new job. Her father is a good boss. She has just moved into her new apartment. She has just started dating. He's a promising lawyer. He works out. He has a great smile. He's the son of her father's friend. He knows how to kiss. And she likes his cologne.

Still something feels wrong.

He's not what she wants.

Her family will be very disappointed.

It's well past midnight on the East coast. She fights the urge to call her ex-husband.  _What have we done?_   _What went wrong? Why can't you change? Don't you love me? Am I not worth it? Why couldn't you try? You didn't try hard enough._ She wants to ask him. She wants to slap him. She wants to blame him for everything. He's the reason why she's indecisive and so unhappy.

She initiated the kiss. She broke away first. She didn't invite him in.  _Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer._ No. Don Romero will be a good father and husband. He's a decent man. He's just not right for her. No one else will be right for her. Her heart and soul are already taken and now she's dying to hear his voice. She loves the way he smiles. He doesn't have a Facebook page. He doesn't have a Twitter account. Lester Santos loves his privacy. Lester Santos knows how to hide his tracks. Lester Santos always keeps a low profile. She can't even stalk him online. She can't even think of making love to another man. She doesn't want to feel sorry for herself. She is feeling sorry for herself.

Ranger the cat walks out of the bedroom and starts to meow. Esmé bends down to pick him up. Something deep down inside her stirs and makes her want to cry. She left her ruby wedding ring on the bedside table. She walked away. She walked out of the door. Did she hear Jalapeño meowing when the cab pulled away? Or was it her mind playing tricks? She just kissed another man. She feels like a cheater. She feels like a traitor. She can't stop loathing herself. Tears pour down her face.

Lester Santos jerks awake. Jalapeño is sleeping in the crook of his arm. He closes his eyes and feels the emptiness.  _Esmé_. Silently he whispers her name.


	20. Father's Day

**Father's Day**

Everyone calls him Mr. Rodríguez. He's a respected businessman. He makes regular donations. He cares about his employees. He loves his family. He knows his daughter is not happy. He decides that it's time to put things right. He has to step in. He has to do something. It's a father's duty to see to his children's welfare and happiness.

He looks out the hotel room window at the Central Park. All his sons are well educated. All his daughters-in-law are from good families. Honest boys. Silly girls. Talkative, boring, rich in-laws. Beautiful, well-behaved grandchildren. Ordinary, average happiness. His wife is gentle, meek woman. He has, many times, come face to face with temptations. He has always been faithful to their marriage. He picks up the phone and dials the number. Love is not that complicated. He married the woman his father chose for him. That's why he wants things to be different for Esmé. He didn't ask any questions when she came home with a broken heart. He didn't ask any questions when she moved out and adopted a cat. He didn't ask any questions when she stopped dating his friend's son. He has no problem if she wants to become a crazy cat lady. But he wants and needs her, his favorite child and only daughter, to be happy. He doesn't want the fire in her eyes to die down. She's so proud and so stubborn. She's just like him. He wants her to be free.

Lester Santos puts down his coffee and answers the phone. Jalapeño and Sweet Pea dash through the house happily.

 


	21. For The Love Of The Game

**For The Love Of The Game**

He can't concentrate.

Something keeps tugging at his heart. He keeps hearing all the little noises. He can't ignore the guilt. He feels like an asshole. And he keeps seeing Tank's solemn face. Those sharp brown eyes bore into his soul.  _They are your responsibility now_. _They are extremely vulnerable. They are fragile._  And he knows too well that accidents happen everyday, very moment, when you least expect. Nope. Maybe he's just being paranoid. He needs to concentrate. It's been a while and he needs this. They both need this. It's such a perfect summer night, and he can hear the song of the waves. The woman beneath him is eager and beautiful. Her skin is smooth and her breast are firm. He loves the shape of her lips. He loves the passion in her eyes. He ends the lingering kiss. They are both more than ready and his body is on fire. He looks into her eyes and arches himself—

He hears the pathetic meow. Right outside of the locked bedroom door.

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Brown!" She sits up and pushes him off. "Why can't you just get rid of the cats?"

Both his body and heart turn cold. He stares at her without a word and thus angers her more.

"Fine, suit yourself." She gets dressed and leave. And yes, she slammed the door.

He sits on the now empty bed. Kit struggles to jump onto the bed. Kat starts exploring the room. He knows she's not coming back. But that's OK. There are plenty of fishes in the ocean and he's pretty sure that a lot of them do not hate cats. He stands up and puts on his boxer. Kit sniffs the air and sneezes. Kat's playing with something under the king size bed. _So this is why Tank and Lula broke up_. He pours himself another glass of champagne and takes a sip as he looks out of the window. The scent of Chanel N°5 annoys him. His frustration dies down a little. Kit and Kat yawn and fall asleep on his pillow. His phone chirps.

"Bobby," Emily smiles into the phone, her voice warm and sounds like caramel. They haven't seen each other for awhile. He heard that she broke up her engagement with Mr. Tall Dark Rich and Asshole. "You adopted two kittens?"

His smile deepens.


End file.
